M. John Fayhee

Writer, Editor, Bullshitter, Mountain Gazette Resurrector

"When in Rome, Do as the Romanians"

Quickish sand »

Quickish sand

Act 1 Over the course of about a tenth of a second that was defined by high adrenaline, after having jumped off a small rock ledge while hiking down a saturated arroyo I have been visiting of late, I had this mental conversation with myself (think of Tom Hanks’ maintaining discourse with Wilson while stranded […]

Douala at night

Cameroon Diary 2: Synonym City »

Since our taxi driver, Maurice, spoke nary a lick of English, and since neither my wife nor I understand any French more complicated than laissez les bon temps roulez, the look on our chauffeur’s mug was likely the response to nothing more than fundamental intra-language cross-circuiting. By utilizing a combination of hand gestures, crude drawings […]
Cameroon Diaries, Part 1: Window Seat

Cameroon Diaries, Part 1: Window Seat »

It would be both trite and stylistically derivative in the extreme to remark how airplanes have altered the landscape of travel, how the gradations of gradual orientation long ago dissipated into the ether of contrails. Travel is disorienting enough without, as but one random example, waking up in a snowstorm and sub-zero temperatures in the […]
Ruined

Ruined »

Author’s note: Several years ago, I was given an assignment by a glossy outdoor magazine to pen a story about hiking Peru’s famed Inca Trail. After I completed the hike, but before the article appeared in print, there was a bloody editorial coup d’état at the magazine and my Inca Trail piece was a casualty. […]
The baby raccoon, in the care of Gila Wildlife Rescue, before being released back into the wild.

Wild Life »

The town is which I dwell is not what you would call prosperous. It’s not as though we have to slalom through bloated-bellied toddlers holding begging bowls as we make our way between the Food Co-op and the Buffalo Bar or anything, but, still, the stench of affluence that defines so many places I have […]
Timelines Part 2: Time Travel

Timelines Part 2: Time Travel »

In the great scheme of the mostly fictitious American Dream, a great many people could rightly argue that, not only am I and not only have I long been one serious U.S. Grade-A fuck-up, but I could very well pen a how-to tome about being a fuck-up. My retirement savings are not nearly what they […]
Timelines Part 1: Timelessness

Timelines Part 1: Timelessness »

My admittedly modest everyday jewelry ensemble consists of: • One yin-yang-motif earring I’ve owned since the late-’70s. It was given to me by the man who pierced my ear. No matter how hard he tried, the man, a friend to this day who had pieced the ears of several other chums over the years, could […]
Copper Canyon – Creel

Copper Canyon – Creel »

“Creel is a dusty–or muddy–depending on the precipitation situation–slag heap of a boondock burg that just happens to be smack dab in the middle of one of the most geo-physically and culturally wonderful places in the known universe: the Sierra Tarahumara, 10,000 foot, plus or minus, rounded mountains that are part of the Sierra Madre […]
The Discovery (unabridged) – Mountain Gazette 183

The Discovery (unabridged) – Mountain Gazette 183 »

Author’s note: The events herein recounted occurred almost 25 years ago. Without a doubt, most circumstances have changed. Second author’s note: Be forewarned … there’s one part of this story that gets a bit unsavory.  Butch Cassidy: Jeesh, all Bolivia can’t look like this. Sundance Kid: How do you know? This might be the garden […]
Big Bob and the Beer Math Saga (unabridged) – Mountain Gazette 180

Big Bob and the Beer Math Saga (unabridged) – Mountain Gazette 180 »

How happy is the blameless vestal’s lot! The world forgetting, by the world forgot. Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind! Each pray’r accepted, and each wish resign’d. — Alexander Pope, “Eloisa and Abelard” It ended up being one of the most long-winded, improbable stories in the history of the Mountain Gazette, which, given that publication’s […]
Scar Tissue (unabridged) – Mountain Gazette 179

Scar Tissue (unabridged) – Mountain Gazette 179 »

Author’s warning: Stunningly undiagrammable run-on sentences soon to follow (a fragment, yes, I know). What can I say? I was not completely sober when these words were scribbled onto several cocktail napkins. “Your hand will grow bigger and your finger will grow bigger, but your scar will always stay the same size.” — Eddie (Jon […]
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